Monday, September 12, 2011

Get Used to Dreaming Again

There is a good reason why lots of people do jobs they don't like and then accumulate the trappings that lock them into that lifestyle. It is not because they lack intelligence but I do believe it is because to do so is easier than chasing their dreams.

Fear of Doing Our Dream Job

This sounds bizarre - surely we all want to pursue what we really want to do with our lives? To some extent, yes, but I believe that in many of us there is a conflict here largely based on fear that we either won't cut it in our dream job/pursuit or if we do then it won't actually make us as happy as hoped. Whilst I am not a fan of jobs that compel you to dedicate 60 hours a week, 50 weeks a year, they are cathartic for so many and enables them to reach a kind of contentment in that it is their duty for their family etc. These lives are so demanding we never have time to really reflect on what we are really passionate and excited about.

Fear of Losing what You Have

Again this is a rational and sensible fear, particularly when you have a family. In my view this is the biggest hurdle that stops people living a life they are excited about. They get trapped by this fear over the course of many years by climbing their career, building their income and then accumulating trappings of success that requires them to maintain or grow their income a the same level. The fear may not even be their own but a spouse who when you tell them you are going to pack your job in instantly say "what about the mortgage, school fees etc". They have a good point. Whilst many people achieve their dreams from starting out with nothing, most of us defer chasing our dreams until later in life when we have a great deal to lose. The bundle of stuff we fear losing then becomes the reason to never actually do what we want to do until maybe we retire. The way to beat this is to turn it on its head. The fact you have been slogging away for years actually means you can have a platform of relative security to pursue your dreams provided you are willing to initially or permanently downsize you lifestyle. If you, or your partner, are not willing to do this then again how committed to the dream are you?

Peer Group Perceptions

How is it going to feel when you turn up to the BBQ with all your social group and announce you have given up your senior role to become a writer? If you think they will be 100% supportive you have wonderful family and friends - congratulations. The reality is that peers may find it unsettling and make them reflect on their own lives to an extent that they find it hard to be supportive. This is human nature and does not warrant losing social connections over. Often peers just need time to get used to the idea you have broken rank. As Gore Viddel once said "A part of me dies every time a friend succeeds". This is a wonderfully candid comment about how we assess our own life in relation to our peers.

Stop Competing with Peers

Trying to compete with peers is pointless because we all competing in our own unique event that has no ultimate score. It's a bit like spending forty years swimming in a a pool. At the end of forty years, you've been swimming as fast as you can constantly and go to the referee. You say "I've swam 231,562 lengths of the pool, surely I've won!" The referee says "Unfortunately not. It's a draw. Your best friend from college shot an arrow into a target at 20 yards, 35 years ago". This intentionally makes no sense to make the point that competing with other people is ridiculous. Everybody has a different start in life, recieves different amounts of luck and assistance each year, has different responsibilities are contented by their own unique factors in life.





Multiple Dreams - Better than One?

If you have one dream that burns inside you that you just know that you have to do it then this is potentially exciting. One question, if the passion is so strong if you are not doing anything about it now you have to ask yourself why not. There may be a conflict inside you that is holding you back - part of that dream you are not comfortable with.

Instead, most of have two, three or more things that we think would be nice to do. Pick you dream portfolio to pieces and dip you toe in all of them to test the water to see how each feels.






Look before you Jump

The fear of actualising a dream and it not turning out to be as good as you hoped is a rational one, after all we all know the grass does tend to appear greener on the other side. Therefore, any action should be proceeded by careful consideration and research. Staying in something you don't like is not great but jumping ship into the unknown is hazardous to your well being as well.

No comments:

Post a Comment